


Objects In the Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear

by t-hy-lla (rivenjolras)



Series: Mirrored Cell 'Verse [2]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Adjusting rating as I decide what the fuck I'm doing, Aftermath, Get-Together Fic, Healing, Issues that could be solved by Talking About It (tm), M/M, Mentions of previous dub-con, Mirror Universe, POV First Person, Slight Mind Break, TOS verse, hannibal buress voice: Class M Planets is the same, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-14 19:03:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9198719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivenjolras/pseuds/t-hy-lla
Summary: After the events of the Mirror Universe, Bones does his best to forget what happened. But that damn Vulcan just won't let it go.**Events referenced are specifically from my other work "Mirrored Cell", however you won't be missing an incredible amount of context if you read this as a standalone.**





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Several people expressed interest in a continuation of my fic Mirrored Cell, specifically the aftermath and how Spock reacts to finding out what transpired. I'm going to draw it out into a multi-chaptered fic because I hate myself and love to scream.
> 
> Thank you for your kind comments and your readership. :-)

I don’t know what possessed me to actually listen to Mirror Spock’s demand. The hickey is downright nasty and dark in color, and there is no doubt that my Spock has seen it. It would have been impossible for him not to. As soon as I had stepped off the teleporter, I felt his eyes on me, even as he spoke to the Captain as the ship’s First Officer. I couldn’t meet his gaze, I would have crumbled if I did. As soon as I was dismissed, I power-walked to my office in sickbay, locked the door, and poured myself a drink.

For the next week, I made sure never to be alone with Spock. I visited the bridge less, and when Spock came in for a physical- he wasn’t due one for another solid month or so- I had M’Benga administer it. I felt Spock trying repeatedly to confront me, but every time he drew near I had some excuse to leave. I knew I couldn’t delay it forever.

“Bones, Spock, you’re with me. Mr. Sulu, you have the con.” Jim brings us both on a relatively routine mission to assess a mostly uninhabited Class M planet and determine whether the local flora, fauna, and terrain could support a Federation colony. In the transporter room, Spock looks about as excited as a Vulcan can be, all things considering. He seems to be focused on the mission, and if he intends to confront me now that I am bound by duty to stay by his (and the away team’s) side, he doesn’t make it obvious.

The planet is arid and the climate and rock formations remind me of Arizona. However, the air is just slightly too thick and the soil too olive for it to be a dead-ringer. Surrounding us are some plants and trees, in clusters on slightly darker earth. I wonder how these trees manage to grow, considering the soil beneath my feet is more crumbling and rocky than anything else. That would be Spock’s department- and I’m not about to ask him.

Spock already has his tricorder out, sweeping it slowly in different directions. Jim is touching a meaty-looking plant with the appearance of aloe when he speaks. “Captain.” Jim’s head snaps up to regard his First Officer. “It appears that this life is growing due to an underground well of some kind. The trees must have roots deep enough to draw from it, and the surrounding flora leach moisture from them. I am obtaining readings from the soil, and I recommend fanning out to cover more ground, given that any animal life is likely small and nonthreatening due to climate constraints.”

Jim’s smile is easy. “Fantastic, Mr. Spock.” He looks to the small group of science officers and the security accompanying them. “You heard him. Pair up- while no animals appear to be harmful, that doesn’t mean there aren’t threats. Meet back at these coordinates in an hour to regroup.” The lower-ranked officers quickly pair off and walk in all directions. Jim watches them before turning to Spock and I. “Gentlemen.” He gestures in a direction none of the others had gone in. “Shall we?”

Spock just raises an eyebrow. There is little need for me on this mission, really- a few of the science officers also have medical experience, at least enough where any injuries one could receive on this planet could be dealt with adequately. In an emergency, beam-ups would suffice. The skies are clear- no risk of storm or rain could be seen. It isn’t as if this planet is devoid of tasks for me- assessing what possible medicinal plants are available is more than enough to do- but anyone from medical could do so. Hell, Sulu could probably do it, with his background.

The walk is silent, but I feel myself struggling to keep calm. Spock is slightly ahead with his eyes glued to his tricorder. If Jim notices how stiff and tense he and I are, he doesn’t comment on it. Spock stops at a particularly dense patch of different flowering plants. Jim really has no purpose on this trek but to keep alert and issue commands if need be, so he strolls, looking around the area. A particularly interesting plant reaching about 2 meters tall catches his eye. It has some kind of seed pods, as well as star-shaped flowers and buds. Jim runs his thumb gently across a petal.

“Captain.” Spock warns, “I do not recommend touching the plant-life when it is unwarranted. We do not know what kind of properties the pollen might have, or what other allergens might be contained in the leaves.”

Jim rolls his eyes, but lets his hand fall to his side. Suddenly, his communicator hails him. He flips it open with practiced ease. “Kirk here.” The answer comes from a junior officer. “Captain,” she starts, “Lieutenant Galloway has located a cave formation of some sort. It appears abandoned, but preliminary readings indicate it leads underground to a significant depth. Should we proceed?” 

Jim pauses, considering. “No, wait for my command. Send me the coordinates and I will accompany you.” He looks meaningfully over at me. “Bones, Spock, I trust you two know what to do out here by yourselves. Comm me if you need me.” Spock nods, and I do my best to beg Jim with my eyes not to go. “Jim-”

Jim grins, and I instantly decide to jab him as hard as I can next time he needs a hypo. “Goodbye for now, gentlemen.” With that, he strides off in the direction of the others.

I instantly busy myself with an uninteresting tree, with the appearance of examining its properties. Spock is quiet, but I am acutely aware of where he is and every small movement. I stare at a particularly jagged piece of bark that covers some kind of leaking wound- the sap is a dark green. I wonder briefly if the sap is that color due to the pigment of the earth beneath it. I take a reading of the sap, my professional mind briefly in place.

“Doctor.” Spock speaks from behind me. He startles me, and I straighten when I feel his exhale faintly on my neck. I don’t turn, knowing that if I do I will be uncomfortably close to his face. “What, what is it?” I snap.

The Vulcan is quiet a moment, and I hold my breath without thinking. “You have been avoiding me ever since your encounter in the Mirror Enterprise. Do you have some reason for doing so?”

I can’t resist replying, and I turn to look at him. “I-” I start to say, before swallowing thickly under his intense scrutiny. “I haven’t been. Avoiding you, that is.” I wince. Not a strong start. “Can’t a man just be busy, damnit?!” Spock looks unimpressed.

“I know from your roster that you have had more than ample free time in this last week. I have witnessed you interact with Nurse Chapel and Helmsman Sulu on multiple occasions about personal matters, outside of your work.” Spock says this impassively, but it feels like an attack.

“Now you pointy-eared menace, who said you could eavesdrop? Mind your own damn business!” I spit back.  
Spock doesn’t dignify that with a response. Instead, his eyes are on the side of my neck. The bruising is fading to a sort of faint yellow and green, but the area where Mirror Spock had bitten is still very visible and angry- I keep absent-mindedly scratching at it. It’s likely to scar if I don’t stop. I freeze.

“Doctor," he starts in that same cool tone, “Who did you encounter in that alternate universe?” Spock reaches out tentatively to touch my neck. The movement breaks the spell I’m under.

I take a step back, and let myself have a deep breath. “You know who I met there. I’m sure you’ve read my mission report.”

“I did.” He replies. “I found it.. lacking in detail. Especially where it concerns your encounter with the Mirror version of myself.” Spock tilts his head. “If there is… anything I can help with, Doctor… know that I will listen.” I am disarmed by the surprisingly earnest expression. Spock's shoulders are drawn and his back rigid. This is clearly uncomfortable for him.

After a moment of silence, I narrow my eyes and wait suspiciously for the rest of Spock’s statements and questions. To my surprise, he breaks away his gaze and comments, “We should continue our mission. We have a limited amount of time before we must meet back up with the rest of the away team.”

I nod thickly, though Spock is already turned away. Why didn’t he press the matter? If Spock had kept at it, he would have been able to pry the information from me with relative ease. As easy as his Mirror counterpart did, in fact. I shiver in remembrance. It would do me no good to associate what that very different Vulcan had done with the one now quietly taking readings of some kind of winding ivy.

I notice the slight shake in my legs and the shallowness of my breath. This is not professional, and however I feel about Spock and what happened, he is a colleague and- if I allow myself to acknowledge it- a friend. If I pull away, it would damage our working relationship, as well as our cohesive unit with Jim. Jim, who has no idea of what happened, because I haven’t mentioned it. He doesn’t deserve that. Spock doesn’t deserve that, either.

No. I can never let Spock know. Not now, not ever. I spend the rest of the mission in silence. 


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the mission was uneventful. Spock, when in command, pays little attention to anything else but the safety of the away team and the success of the mission objective. I followed him until we reached our rendezvous with Jim and the science officers. Spock didn’t speak further on the matter, but I couldn’t shake that feeling of being backed into a corner. It was almost a relief to have my atoms scrambled on the way back.

In the transporter room, Jim’s voice is firmly in command mode. “Excellent work, crewmen. Mr. Spock, I trust you will compile our findings on the suitability of this planet and send it to Starfleet Command.”

Spock nods. “I expect to be done by 2100 hours, Captain.”

Jim grins. “Great.” He spins on his heel to address the rest of the team. “Thank you for a perfect mission. You are all dismissed.”

My shoulders sag with relief. The various science officers and security accompaniments move swiftly back to their stations. I turn to watch them, and come face-to-face with Spock. I stiffen.

“Doctor.” Spock starts after a moment, “I am feeling… unwell. I wish you to conduct an examination.”

It’s in that moment I realize Jim is still there. Out of the corners of my eyes, I see him gazing curiously at the two of us. I can’t say no outright.

I clear my throat. “Why, Spock, I was with you the whole time on the planet’s surface. You seemed fine then.” I bounce on my heels nervously out of habit. “What could possibly be ailing you now?”

Spock stares, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Doctor, we were on an uncharted planet with unknown quantities of pathogens and possible bacteria that could affect my physiology in ways that can neither be seen nor anticipated.”

I scoff. “You beam down on these types of missions all the time and never request an eval. Why now?”

“Bones.” Jim lands a hand on my shoulder, startling me. “Spock is an integral member of the crew. If he is worried about his condition, it’s your duty to check him over.” He inclines his head, leveling me with a look that I wouldn’t dare challenge.

I sigh deeply. “Fine. Spock, if you will accompany me to sickbay…” I turn without acknowledging either of them. I know Spock will follow.

As soon as we are both out of earshot, Spock quickens his pace to close the distance I put between us. I start to walk faster without thinking. Behind me, I hear his footfalls picking up in time with mine. It sets off something deep inside me, that wants desperately to flee. I force it down, if only because I know that Spock would catch me sooner than I could break into a sprint.

Sickbay is empty of patients and Nurse Chapel is likely in a quiet room, entering data and filing away information. The doors swish behind Spock and I with a sort of finality. The low hum of machinery and soft beeps fills the space. I take a deep breath, and finally turn to Spock.

“So. Are we here to have an evaluation of your condition, or was that your clever Vulcan way of lying to get us alone?” My tone is more hostile than I intended, but I need to discourage him from whatever he’s planning.

“Vulcans do not lie.” Spock replies, without elaborating.

“The hell they don’t! What do you call this?” I gesture between the two of us. “If you’re not sick, stop wasting my time and get out. Otherwise, climb onto a medical bed and let me do my damn job.”

“Doctor. Vulcans do not lie.” Spock replies firmly. “I truly am feeling… unwell. I did not specify whether the ailment was physical.” He takes a step closer to me.

“Spock…” I open my mouth to speak, but he holds up a hand to silence me.

“I wish to know what happened in that universe. I have found that whenever I see you, and see how you react to me, I feel… unsettled.” 

My throat is dry. “I…. it wasn’t… it wasn’t you.” 

Spock takes another step forward, and I take one back, bumping into the edge of a medical bed. Spock lifts an eyebrow.

“Then why do you react to me in fear?” His eyes are boring into mine with an intensity I’m unused to on his face. My vision swims, and I hear echoes of his voice, though he makes no sound.

I close my eyes and take a steadying breath. I can feel my hands shaking minutely, and I grip the bed to stop them. When I open my eyes again, Spock is still there, but his expression is less severe.

“Spock.” I start, “You were not there. You do not understand just how… different… that universe is. Your counterpart, he is so unlike you.” I swallow and turn my head. I fix my gaze on an errant tricorder left on one of the other beds. It anchors me, and allows me to continue. “But what he does, I know that you’re capable of. Even if you never will exercise it... The part of me that knows you is quieter than the voice my mind that remembers what he did.” 

Fingertips touch the side of my face, and I jump. Spock gently turns my head back to him. He’s standing close enough to me that his breath is ghosting over my face. I feel a sort of buzz from his fingers on my skin. I suck in a breath, my eyes wide.

“Doctor. What is it that you’re afraid of? What do you think I could do to you?” His usually stoic face has concern written all over it, obvious in the set of his jaw and his eyebrows drawn together. It’s so unlike mirror Spock that it shatters the spell that I’m under. This- this is undoubtedly Spock, the one who would give his life for any member of the crew. The one who plays the lyre while Uhura sings. The one who argues with me endlessly, yet never uses his rank to banish me when I irritate him.

I slowly reach to place my hand over Spock’s, still resting on my cheek. He pulls his hand away suddenly, as if burned. I frown, remembering a voice like his- _He will never look upon you as I have_. This Spock- my Spock- he would never harm me, but that doesn’t mean he will never hurt me. I feel something ugly and bitter inside me in response. I grit my teeth to spit out my reply.

“Leave me alone. If I wanted you to know, I would tell you." I let go of the medical bed I was unconsciously gripping. "Now, if you don’t mind, I will return to my quarters and have a much-needed rest.” Emboldened by my outburst, I shoulder past him before he can get a word in edgewise.

I don’t look behind me to see his face. I walk to my quarters with false bravado, but inside, I know that I'm running like a coward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why am i like this

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, I write with the aid and emotional support from my IRL Bones, AO3 user DragonFae.
> 
> I have no BETA currently checking my work, all mistakes are my own.


End file.
